What do you want out of life?

What steps do you take to get there?

There’s an old adage: “The days are long, but the years are short.” It’s true. The last couple of years have been an absolute grind. I can’t believe that Fall of 2023 is upon us.

It was almost a year ago when a mentor asked me, “What do you want out of life?”

I didn’t know.

That’s a problem.

If you don’t have a direction in mind, a plan of action to follow, a goal to keep your eyes on, you're probably going to be in the same spot year after year.

I know that to be the truth.

We stayed in our first purchased home much longer than we should because we never made any plans. We didn’t talk about our dreams.

We knew we didn’t want to live there.

But year after year went by before I sat down and made a solid plan of action. But that started with a dream. What is my dream now?

Perhaps you’ve stayed at a job too long. You know that isn’t the place for you. But it pays the bills, you have benefits, it’s fine. But is it?

The fact is my husband and I don’t think alike. And while he is great at executing short term missions, the long view is all on me. He’ll go where I lead him. So what is it that I wanted out of life?

In my previous post, I revealed that what I really want is to move to the woods. That’s it. That’s the goal. There’s a whole lot more to it. Like I want to be the go-to-the store kind with a lake/woods high-end retreat vibe over the I want to hunt-and-gather all my own food and build my house from deadfall kind. There’s a story involving an overly-active kid and her wonderful grandparents for another day. For now let’s stick to the broad view. I identified my goal. What are yours?

Here are steps to take so you can figure out what you want.

Identify what you want out of life.

Spend some time reflecting on your values.

What is important to you? What do you want to stand for? What kind of impact do you want to have on the world? Once you have a good understanding of your values, you can start to identify goals that are aligned with them.

Or even what’s not important. I can live with going to town on a weekly or less basis. I have lived near major shopping hubs and I just don’t go. But that town better have a library. I want to have an active small town so I can volunteer. I want to conserve a natural habitat by owning a portion of these wooded lands.

Think about your passions.

What are you excited about? What do you love to do? What are you naturally good at? Identifying your passions can help you narrow down your options and choose a path that you are truly passionate about.

I am passionate about sitting lakeside. Enjoying the sound of the trees. Hearing the fish jump. Even the annoying bullfrogs during their season. Watching the birds in every season. I’m a good spouse so I will include my husband is passionate about walking across his backyard to fish off his own dock.

Consider your strengths and weaknesses.

What are you good at? What areas do you need to improve in? Being honest with yourself about your strengths and weaknesses can help you set realistic goals and develop a plan to achieve them.

No one wants to hear about themselves, but sometimes we can’t see the forest through the trees. Or we can’t see ourselves clearly. A good way to do this is to ask your friends what they think your strengths are or what needs developing. Seek feedback from your ride-or-die coworkers. We are all our own worst critics so get some lift-ups and then take a good look at what might be blocking you from what you want to do or be. At my lowest, I sought out advice from those around me as I could no longer accurately answer those questions. I was surprised on some of what they said and it took them calling out what I was good at for me to see it as well. And those things I was good at? Those activities brought me the most personal satisfaction.

Talk to people you admire or are doing what you would like to be doing.

Ask them about their goals, their challenges, and what they have learned along the way. Talking to people who have achieved what you want to achieve can give you valuable insights and inspiration.

I love the internet. Use videos, articles, and other online resources to see how they forged their path forward. Read biographies or watch documentaries. If there is anything you can copy, adapt, or learn from to get to your dream goal, use it.

Visualize your ideal future. What does your dream life look like? Where are you living? What are you doing? Who are you surrounded by? Taking the time to visualize your ideal future can help you clarify your goals and stay motivated.

Make a vision board, a Pinterest board, Close your eyes and put yourself there. If you struggled like I did, give yourself a break with the self-questioning and start listening.

Now that I have identified my dream I guess I have to work on planning it.

A dream? Perhaps.